I am tired of the existential bullshit. All of our lives we sit here and beat back others so we ourselves can make our pathetic little lives better by feeding some line of utter crap to ourselves. It will get better we tell ourselves, just that much farther. Yet doesn’t it seem rather ironic that we end up telling ourselves that our whole lives? What until we have lived out our lamentable excuse for our lives and fulfilled our vindication for our existence. What reasoning do we come up with that makes it all worthwhile? I have run out of those nonsensical reasons and yet I have come up with nothing more. No justification for why I walk this fucked up world, and yet here I sit laminating on this very subject, trying to be like the masses and validate it all. Yet I am the very person that I am ranting about, not that I have not spent the last four years trying to prove myself to those who only look the other way. Every time that it blew up in my face, I’ve uttered that exact phrase “it will get better…” I look back on each one of those moments, and laugh at my own naivety. It all comes down to the same fucked up shit, and the situation remains the same. So still I sit wondering what in the hell I am doing here.